When differences start to manifest in a relationship

In this stage differences start to appear, you take your partner out of the position you have originally put your partner in. It does not necessarily mean that the relationship won’t work, this is part of the natural process that has to happen, and you view your partner more OBJECTIVELY. In marriage and relationship counseling I help you to gradually flow into this process, having knowledge that this is going to happen or is happening gives you a sense of safety and understanding, where very important information regarding your relationship starts to reveal itself Here we must look at the following:

The Partner may feel that he/she wants more space from the other. All the similarities that was so easy and familiar in the beginning starts fading and you start noticing some differences. You may also feel that your partner does not want to spend so much time with you anymore. All these is the natural way the relationship should go, we have not been taught this so a lot of people may think this is the end of the relationship, or we are not so compatible as you originally thought.

YOU ARE reestablishing your own boundaries, which is very important for the relationships future. Marriage and relationship counseling can facilitate and help a great deal to re-establish you. You can start discovering yourself within the context of the relationship or marriage.

Sometimes the differences are too big to deal with and the relationship ends. For others this is a slower and gradual process. What happens next is we start quietly to reflect over the differences you are experiencing with your partner, it is not always easy to verbalize the things you find different or think you overlooked. This is where communication is not always that easy. Knowing what you are feeling and wanting at this stage is crucial, what you think and what you need is also of paramount importance.

Communicating it to your partner here is very important but we tend to find it hard and we feel we can’t communicate we have to learn to talk to each other. You are actually quite capable of communicating but identifying your own wants, thinks, feels and needs in this stage is not always that easy and then verbalizing it to your partner without getting into an argument is a bit more challenging. Marriage and relationship counseling will assist in verbalizing what you want think feel and need, in a safe environment.

For more information about Louw Alberts, www.louwalberts.co.za or book an appointment, www.louwalberts.co.za/contact-me.