It’s always exciting to meet a new love interest about whom you can spend your day imagining your future together. However, it’s important to ask a few important relationship questions before jump into a relationship with that person. It is important that you truly know, not only the other person, but yourself and what you are looking for before you commit to a serious relationship.  Ask yourself the following relationship questions before committing anyone, if you say “no” more often than “yes”, it may be wise to walk away.

Relationship questions to ask yourself

Although these may seem obvious, it is important to sit down and really think about the answers to these questions.

  1. Am I a priority in their life?
  2. Does he/she respect me?
  3. Do I feel safe around this person?
  4. Do I have fun with him/her?
  5. Does this person accept me for who I am?
  6. Does he/she encourage and support me and my goals?
  7. Am I inspired to be my best self by this person?
  8. Can I express myself freely around him/her, especially when difficulties arise?
  9. Do I like this person exactly as they are?
  10. Do I feel free to work on myself, and spend time with family and friends around this person?
  11. Do I feel secure both when we are together and when we are apart?
  12. Do my family and friends like this person, and do I like their family and friends?

Relationship questions to ask about your partner

Once you have looked at yourself with regards to a prospective relationship, it is important that you also look at your partner to see if a serious relationship is a good idea.

  1. Are they respectful toward their family
  2. Are they kind to others regardless of race, gender, caste or class?
  3. Is he/she patient with you?
  4. Have there been any red flags?
  5. Does he/she include you in all aspects of his/her life?
  6. Does he/she do what they say they will?
  7. Is this person ready to commit to one person?
  8. Have you been introduced their family and friends?
  9. Is this person open to discussion and hearing your perspectives?
  10. Does this person make you happy and add joy to your life?

Relationship questions to ask about the relationship

A successful relationship needs to be looked at as a third entity, with each partner being the other entities. As such, not only is it important to look at each partner, but also the relationship itself, when figuring out if it is worth entering into a long-term relationship with someone.

  1. Are your life goals in alignment?
  2. Are you looking for the same things from a relationship?
  3. Are you positive influences for each other?
  4. Are your belief systems, morals and values in alignment?
  5. Are your financial styles similar?
  6. Do you find yourselves growing closer and your bond stronger with every meeting?

These relationship questions should help guide you when deciding the best way forward with a relationship. However, it is important that you know your partner well enough before going through these questions. Lastly, no relationship is perfect, and so don’t worry if you score a few “no’s”- this is completely normal of any relationship.

Psychologist Louw Alberts is an expert on relationships and marriage. Contact him if you are in the Centurion and Pretoria area.